"Music has charms to soothe the savage breast..."

"...to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak."
William Congreve, The Mourning Bride

I went a little new music crazy today. And most of it wasn't even new. I'm very excited about it. And I won't tell you how many albums I downloaded because even guilt-free me is a bit guilty about it. But most of it was quite old or relatively so and I won't dwell on it. But I did I find a new love in Joan As Police Woman.

And why is it that the saying became, "charms to soothe the savage beast," when it was written, "breast?" That really doesn't make any sense. Maybe we just alter what we don't understand so as not to have to admit we do not understand whatever it is that we don't understand.

Maybe people are just afraid of being wrong. Being misconceived, misunderstood (oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood), mistaken for something they aren't (or maybe something they are but won't acknowledge), or less than equal to everyone else. Newsflash: we won't ever all be equal. We're only equal in our inadequacy. Sin, flesh, selfishness, etc. I'll never: have hair as shiny as, teeth as white as, skin as clear as, play as well as, joke, speak, laugh, or smile as lovely as, or exist as "wonderfully" as: anyone of you. And I'm sure you could all come up with your own list.

But you know what? It's okay. Because I only perceive myself to be inadequate. I was created exactly as was intended and to want any less or more is saying that He didn't really quite know what He was doing when He gave me 20/100?150?+? vision or blonde hair or the inability to develop upper arm strength.


Through Him, I am perfected.

i always had a blogger's heart

//well all I want is to just be free
to live my life like I want to be
well all I want is to just have fun
to live my life like it's just begun//
Pushin' Too Hard -- The Seeds

I just saw an ad that asked if perhaps my entire childhood was a hallucination.

Of course, it wasn't, but sometimes I feel like I live my life from dream to dream.



And I think I'm between dreams right now.

Let me, Irene

Let me, Irene
Irene, I ran to you
You never ran to me
Since then I don't know where you've been

Irene
Irene, I ran from you
You never ran from me
Since then you don't know where I've been

You didn't say goodbye,
But neither did I

Irene
Let me, Irene
Rent the room you left
Brown the walls became
They had been blue
I had been blue
For you they were brown

I ran, Irene
Let me, Irene
Let me,
Let me run

i have something to say.

Hey you,
you're just a child,
yet somehow you still
drive me wild.
I can't explain it,
it makes no sense.
I don't think you
understood what it meant.
Time goes by,
you're still a kid.
I grew wiser but I
still can't get rid (of you).
Wish I could say
you'd grown up,
or that I had, too--
--we are sorry to interrupt
this message with
Breaking News.
The child played the wiser girl;
she still is being used.

be yourself.

Be yourself. Don't give up. Make it happen. You can do it.

Everyone has a phrase. Something they repeat to themselves in the night, when they feel their world is crashing in on them. Does it make it better? Does it really give anyone the courage to wake up the morning after they breakdown and face everyone? As for myself, I too often fall asleep wondering what I've done wrong. Where I got turned around. How I got to where I am. Perhaps, just perhaps, if I stopped wondering what happened, and started looking towards what is going to happen, I would be less anxious about the past. The past is in the past. Don't look back—only look forward. You can't do anything about what is finished, but you can affect what is yet to come.

I have made mistakes in my life. I have held on when I should have let go, I have let go when I should have held on for dear life, I have stopped when I should have run with everything I had, I have run when I should have stopped and looked about, I have turned around when I should have kept straight, and I have kept going in one direction when I should have realized I needed to go back where I came from.

Do I make anything different by dwelling on what I have already done in my life, or is it all just passing nostalgia, holding me back from where I could still go? If I keep my mind and heart somewhere they do not belong, it prevents them from going somewhere else. I am sure there is something more for me in this world than a reminder of what I did wrong and what I may have incidentally done right. Go left? Right. Correct. Yes. I mean, yes. Go left. Do it, run with it all you have. You'll find your way. You'll know what you should be, where you should be, who you should be if you just keep going. If you stand still and watch the world spin around you, watch the people moving so fast, running from one place to the next, going from one life to another, and let it all pass you by, you'll never know. If you only watch others live their lives, how are you to live your own? I have spent my entire life watching other people live, and never living for myself. Living is something only you can do. No one can do it for you. You are responsible for your own decisions, for your own actions. You must make your own choices and face your own consequences. I am a people-watcher. I watch people. I notice the man at the bus stop, I know the name of the woman in the grocery store. I frequent the same many places a great many times.

Where is the line between living your own life and living living to watch others live theirs?